Wednesday, November 17, 2010

DAD's JOKES

PLEASE COMMENT by SHARING SOME OF DAD'S FAMOUS SAYINGS THAT YOU CAN REMEMBER!!!
THESE WILL BE GOING IN THE FAMILY NEWSLETTER!

The train went by, how can you tell? It left it's tracks.

This is a famous spot! You can start here and go anywhere in the world!

Have you heard the joke about the roof? It's over your head!

If you lived here you'd be home by now!

What did the elephant say when he stepped on a grape? Nothing, he just gave a little whine!

If I knew everyone in the world, you'd be one of them.

I scream...you scream...we all scream for ice cream.

What time is it? Time for all dogs to go to heaven, aren't you glad you're just a pup?

Jeremy, your dad was "RUTH-less" before he met your mom.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this story's true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!

(I may not have posted all of those correctly, you may comment on that too! We don't want these to be put in the newsletter inccorectly!)

6 comments:

Jon Allen said...

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him? Nothing, he just gave a little whine...

cari said...

No matter where your at, there you are. Of all the places I have been this is one of them. What was the elephant doing on the highway? 2 miles per hour..What happened when the elephant stepped on a bag of chips. Oh it was crummy anyway. Something about an elephant hiding in a strawberry patch and have you ever seen one in there, no it works doesn't it. I also like the one taking the elephant out of the refrigerator, and the conference that was held-I think Brandon knows that one good.

m@R(! said...

wow i am impressed how many cari got! i have nothing..i need to think more.

GRIFJR said...

THe police man came and SHOT to the two dead boys - not ARREST.

You can add just about any blond joke to that list...there was a while there that he was the king of the blond jokes.

Two men made a pact that the first one to die would come back to let the other know if there was baseball in heaven. After a while one of the men died. Sure enough the man appeared to his friend as an angel. His friend immediately asked "So, is there baseball in heaven?" His reply "I have some good news and bad news. The good news is that there is baseball in heaven!" The friend replies "That is great! So, what is the bad news?" "Well, the bad news is that you are the starting pitcher on Monday."

m@R(! said...

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

m@R(! said...

was the last joke i put one of dad's??? it sounds like something he would say