Rules of Chocolate

1. If you have melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit so eat as many as you want.
3. The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car? The solution: Eat is in the parking lot.
4. Diet Tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
5. A nice box of chocolate can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place, isn't that handy?
6. If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all of your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
7. Chocolate is nature's way of making up for Mondays.
8. If I eat an equal amount of dark chocolate and white chocolate, isn't that a balanced diet? Don't they counteract each other?
9. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
10. The 12-step chocoholic program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE.
11. I don't understand why so many "so called" chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, 'nuff said.
12. Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don't need an appointment.
13. Put "Eat Chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, you'll get one thing done.

We aren't meant to deal with life alone...Where's the chocolate?